A Letter to My Best Friend's Groom
There are associates, then there are friends. There are friends, then there are best friends. There are best friends, then there is Phylicia and Dominique. And there is nothing like it.
I'd expect you to know much of this first part because you asked her to marry you. There's no better idea than that — and I give so much credit and respect to you and every man who sees a woman worth the rest of his life and seizes the opportunity.
Phylicia Shivonne... now Harris, is no ordinary woman. I've never met one like her and I'm close to Godly sure I never will. There's no heart more genuine. There are no intentions more pure. There's no life more carefully crafted by God Himself to be a bright light, a gentle spirit, and the sweetest of friendships to all who've been blessed to know her. Her nature is calming, loving, and enticing. Most people try their entire lives to be as kind as Phylicia is — who doesn't have to try. Most people seek fame and validation; she fervently seeks the heart of Christ. Most people pray for patience; it's her gift.
She's a gift. She's my gift. A gift I'm giving to you.
In the 24 years we've known each other, never — before last year — have we had to put any other person before each other. Sure, we have parents and siblings, but it's all the same; they are no different and no more important to us than each other. But marriage changes that. Marriage changes everything. No longer can we insert ourselves into each other's family lives the way we have since the beginning of our time. No longer can we tell each other absolutely everything. No longer can we cuddle the night before major life events. That's your job now. A job I'm not quite sure I'm ready to relinquish... but if she did it for me, I'll graciously bow out for her.
For the second time in forever, Phylicia and I will soon be reminded again that things are changing. Although for the better — that doesn't make it any easier. We've been the better parts of each other for a long time now, and now you host the responsibility of being the better. And while I'm not going anywhere, you occupy an incredibly intimate space I'd never be able to access. Reject the urge to fill that space or satisfy her emptiness yourself; let God do it for the two of you.
I am your worst nightmare and biggest supporter.
Please remember — I've been hard on you and I have no intentions of letting up. But I've been praying for you, and that will also never cease. Earnestly praying for the success of your marriage; the strength of the most faithful of husbands; that God's grace and favor will not only walk with you, but His wisdom will be ahead of you. I am trusting you with a life that has meant more to me than close to anything in this world for as long as I've known her. Trust is not something I relinquish easily. Keep it.
My standards are high and I expect you to meet them.
Marriage is a journey toward sculpting each other to look more like Jesus. He's our only true example and I anticipate that you follow Him with your eyes wide, ears open, and heart fully engaged. With a gaze set toward Him, I look forward to seeing His heart through yours.
His strength is made perfect in our weakness. Acknowledge weakness daily. His peace surpasses all understanding. Create peace daily. The grace He gives us is to be given. Extend grace daily.
She's precious and she's perfect.
She's sensitive and innocent. She's enthusiastic and hopeful. You are the protector of her preciousness, her perfection, her sensitivity, her innocence, her enthusiasm, and her hopefulness. You are the voice of reason when logic is slowly fleeting. You are the wall that stands between calm and chaos.
You both will make mistakes — that's inevitable. I'm not counting on you to make any more or less than her; I'm counting on you to make the effort to fix it first. In the moments where she doesn't seem as precious and perfect... remember this day. She is.
I know more about Phylicia than I know about marriage — and all I know is she deserves the very best. She is the very best. I believe God is continuously doing His best work in you; I trust Him with you, and now I'm trusting you with her.
Ishi, I love you. Mibby, I love you.
Let God be God through your marriage. Show off His glory. Live in His favor. Rest in His grace.
From your third sister-in-law — welcome to the family, bro.
