Heartstrings and High Values: A Poem About What's Actually Missing From Dating Today
It’s been said I’m an anxious attacher
Too much of a mother
In my masculine era
A holder oner
A believe in lover
A try too harder
And if I may,
I might say
That the trouble with dating in our society today
Is the lack of
Trying too hard
Believing in love
And holding on
But those features should only be reserved
For reservations at The Soul
We focus too much on fine dining
And not enough on the substance of the meal
Soulmates meet for dates
To determine the rate
At which they can agree
How else can two be together?
Unless they’ve gathered evidence to support the claim of mutual agreement
Here are the terms
Does respect feel respectful?
Does support look supportive?
Is kindness kind?
Are they good to people who can do nothing for them?
What is helpfulness shaped like?
How is appreciation shown?
What does family mean?
What do friends say?
Are they integral when no one is watching?
Can they be trusted with hard things? Hard feelings? Hard times?
Are they easy to like?
Are they safe?
Do disagreements end with a resolution and change?
Can I communicate my needs and be received?
Is there reciprocity?
Am I growing or shrinking?
Am I more or less of myself?
Am I getting closer or further from my goals?
Am I hiding something to make this work?
Am I betraying myself for false joy?
Do I like myself when I wake up?
Have I done something for me lately?
Am I feeding what energizes me?
Do I have gratitude?
Am I making excuses?
Am I secure?
Am I myself?
How is my soul?
For me
It’s been too much of them
And not enough of me
Too much heart
Not enough soul
Searching for someone
When I should’ve found self
We wait too long
We stay too long
With the wrong people
Out of fear
A lack of belief in ourselves
A belief in change
Holding breath for people who never were and won’t be to become
Stuck in gender roles and tradition
Holding space just for the other person to not live up to the standard anyway
Don’t wait
Don’t stay
Be the lesson
Teach how to run away with grace and dignity
It’s recess
Not playtime
These are people
Not puppets
Heartstrings aren’t real
Values are
Have high values
Be high value
Be with high value
So what I have to say about dating in this society
Is ask yourself the last 13 questions daily
And eventually
Someone who’s been taking the same inventory
Will prepare for checkout
