My House Was Built on You: What a Churchy Teenager on Instagram Reminded Me About God

It’s an ordinary night to end an anything-but-ordinary day. I’m doing what I do at night — watch reels. It’s been a while since I’ve spent nights unwinding on a show or movie, or something that should be able to quantify if I could actually keep my attention for any longer than 30 seconds, but I digress.

Jarrett Billups is a hilarious churchy teenager who makes videos (mostly while in school) being himself. Being himself consists of acting like a 62-year-old church mother. Every single one of his videos cracks me up. I watched one where he mentions catching a whiff of the Holy Ghost in the car listening to a Maverick City song. He’s talking about that part in the middle of the song that instantly “makes him full.”

Rain came
Wind blew
My house was built on you

I’m safe
With you
I gonna make it through

That landed with me. I exited Instagram and went to Apple Music. I put it on. And instantly, yup — same, Jarrett.

As much credit as I’ve given Jesus for seeing me through the things I’ve been through, I always, not often — always — forget to trust Him with the next step. It’s easy to trust and thank God for what he already did but it seems impossible to put back in His hands what He already has intended to do with your future. With my future.

Almost a year ago to date, Maxine Kershaw looked me directly in my eyes. And if you know me, you know how I can be with preachers and prophets. I’m listening intently, I’m writing it down, I’m remembering, and I’m testing.

Well, honey. I surely forgot, but I remembered tonight! That word came back to me, and it hit differently. What I thought it meant a year ago, is surely not what God has revealed to be what He meant.

Evangelist said,

The wolf will not blow your house down.

He’s turning it around.

No weapon formed against you shall prosper.

Nothing will stick to you.

“Every word of God has been proven true. He is a safe-covering to those who trust in Him”. — Proverbs 30:5

I do, indeed, have a righteous indignation — a part of me that I am actively asking the Lord to mold as He cuts and carves, but keeps the pieces that He knows He made to stay, like my justice orientation. It comes out with my annoyance at false teaching. It disturbs me when people are mistreated. And, as you can imagine, it boils up when I’m personally harmed.

I am bothered by scams.
Frustrated by lies.
Angered by deceit.

And, that is because I stopped (or never started) trusting the Lord with the plans He has for me. I thought I had to prove something or wave Him down from Heaven for Him to see me and take care of me. I imagined He lets things slip through the crack. I felt if I didn’t speak up or defend myself, publicly, He wouldn’t protect me. I didn’t believe that He sees all. I didn’t believe that He is just. I didn’t believe that He won’t fail me.

And that is what true prophesy does. It reiterates the promise that not just the words the prophet said are true, but the words that God says are true.

He sees all.

Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Hebrews 4:13

He is just.

God is just. 2 Thessalonians 1:6a

He won’t fail.

Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22–23

He heals.

He said to her, ‘Daughter, your faith has healed you. Go in peace and be freed from your suffering.’ Mark 5:34

He redeems.

Who gave Himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for Himself a people that are His very own, eager to do what is good. Titus 2:14

He restores.

And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 1 Peter 5:10

After Job had prayed for his friends, the Lord restored his fortunes and gave him twice as much as he had before. Job 42:10

Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. Isaiah 61:7

He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name’s sake. Psalm 23:3

He loves.

I have loved you with an everlasting love. Jeremiah 31:3

In my next book, I imagine I’ll talk so much more about seeking a love I’d never find if truly, and seriously, I did not know or trust or rest, really rest, believe, grasp, understand and feel that the Lord loves me.

He has restored my soul.
Changed my mind.
Repaired my heart.
Layered my trust.
Poured out love.
Hammered in grace.
Sealed with peace.
He built my house.
And he’s still renovating.

Tonight, I’m more secure in the Lord than I was this morning. With my righteous indignation and justice orientation, I do feel pressed into sharing my truth and airing my side. With trust in the Lord, I understand that grace, peace and patience are not reflective of acquittal or absolution. With hope in the character of who God has been, I know that silence is a double-edged sword, but so is His Word. And if that isn’t proof of a faithful, non-failing God, I don’t know what is. Lean on Him, it’s the best option there is.

Surely eyes have not seen, things will work out for me, goodness and mercy is following, exceedingly and abundantly; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him. Welcome Home.